(An unfinished post)
Channel 4 is currently showing, “The Undateables”, which, sensationalist, awful title aside, is a series about…
“People living with challenging conditions are often considered ‘undateable’ – this series meets a few and follows their attempts to find love”.
For one, considered undateable by who?
But the often-overlooked (or at worst, ridiculed) sexuality of disabled people is a subject worthy of exploration and commentary. As is the near-universal desire for love.
Instead, we get an hour of, “AW BLESS!” complete with patronising voiceovers (and unnecessary ones, can’t they speak for themselves?) which treat the participants as little children, complete with angelic personalities and superhuman dignity, instead of the rounded, feeling people that they are.
The comments on Twitter aren’t much better...
The people on this program are so innocent!! 10 years and the guy left her cos she was in a wheelchair
#heartless#undateablesRetweeted 443 timesWatching#undateables I hate that it’s called that! SO mean! These are literally the nicest people in the world! Shaine is a legend!
The
#undateables bless them!The
#undateables is so cuteCan someone tell me why looks are so important in a relationship. Personality and trust come well before looks!
The people on
#undateables are actually so sweet! Why can’t everyone be like them, what lovely people!
Do you know what’s worse than avoiding disabled people and laughing at disabled people (which people on Twitter are doing, too). Using disabled people as “lessons” to teach you the true value of life.
Yes, there is a certain amount of adversity involved in disability. But reducing people to that adversity, of “overcoming” (which requires no effort or thought on your part) of reducing them to one-dimensional dignified little stereotypes is as equally damaging as spite, because it still others disabled people. It strips them off their humanity. There are downsides to, “dignity”, which I have written about before. Dignity, in some ways, disempowers people. If all that is expected of you is to be dignified, when you are angry, when you are suffering, when you are just plain pissed off, you have erred from the side of sympathy. Disabled people don’t get annoyed, don’t have flaws. They are, “Sweet” and, “Cute”. Like puppies. And they remind you of how lucky you are. Which is so nice of them! But then again, they are nice, aren’t they? (Except the bad ones, you know, the ones who aren’t disabled enough but are on benefits anyway).
How would you feel if someone looked at you and all they saw in you was how bad their life could have been? How would you feel if, by your very existence, you were supposed to, “represent” people? That, “life is cruel!” (but not to you?)
Please stop viewing disabled people as toys. Thanks.
I completely agree! I *hated* the patronising voiceover and the ‘AWW BLESS, SO CUTE’ tweets. It’s like when they make films about people with mental health problems and the character is just seen as a ‘victim’ and not even a real human being, just a means of teaching the audience the value of life and love or some shite.
Are we human, the last thirteen years I’ve been called work shy scrounger so if they want to fawn over me then go ahead I do not really care either way